26 MAY 2009

Today i am very hot-tempered.I myself don't even know why.My grandfather passed away last week.I was so sad.My parents tried to convince my grandmother to come and live with us so that she won't be alone, but she not yet reply.I really hope she can come and live with us.....

I am very angry today because of the stupid project given by the school.I need to submit the two project right after the holiday.I hate it.How can i finish on time?! I started to hate school now.I also started to hate myself now.Who am i?No matter who i am, it won;t be my oldself anymore. I almost search all the website in the internet to look for detaqils but all i get is NOTHING!!

I feel lonely.I don't like my friends in school now.Even my childhood friend also started to lose contact.I don't know how long i could tolerate but all i know is i try my best.I could'nt stand this matter anymore.What should i do?Can anyone tell me?Now even sashez also went to college.No more anyone to play and chat with me..............

23 April 2009

Long time never write in bloggerbecause i wasnot free.I went for camp fire last Saturday.I did had a lot of fun. I dance with my friends but i hate my friends' action. They purposely went to chat with some boys which make them to asked our phone number. They somehow like to date but it none of my business i don't know why i juz don't like their actions.I think maybe it is because of my past.I got very good result in this time exam but my brother result was not really good. I don't know what i can still do to encourage him to read more.I hope one day he will be more mature .......

This few days i was very bad luck, i don't know what happen to me.......
The more think about that the more i hate myself..............
i am no more the old personality.............. but it seem like my friend never notice which is good.
i hate myself............
i don't know who am i now............
i feel like i am living in my dreams...........
who can wake me up from my dreams?!.....

8 April 2009

Today school was boring. I got my math exam resut today and i got the highest marks of the whole form but i am stll not happy because don't know why this result don't satifise me.

i wish i could work harder next time.This saturday i am going to attend a presentation in my school,and i and my friends think that the teachers are really mad because they said we have to seat in the hall from eight in the morining till 4.30 in the afternoon.I told my friend i am bringing along a cushion.


I really wonder where i could find a real friend now?to share my thoughts and feeling.....
a friend that can calm me down everytime because these few days i am real hot-tempered. I think my personality is changing. i am no more like before and now i don't really like talking to peoples.i like to be alone because there is no real friend...........................

5 April 2009

I was very sick today.Don't even feel like moving i juz wanna lay on bed all day long.I am also not happy cause of my mum.She reminded me of a friend that i don't want to think of.She asked if we still got contact each other but i told her no.She asked me why, i don't know how to answer her. Then i lied to her that i can't contact him at all even in the internet.I hate myself.really hate alot

why did everyone keep reminding me of ...... I am trying to forget about the past but after all this reminders i finally figure out that i can't. I just feel that the song that match my mood now is "when there was me and you" from hsm1. i like the lyrics it really match my feeling alot more than i could imagine.

25 March 2009

I am not feeling well today. I had a headache and also very tired.Don't know why cuz i had not being doing things that wil make me tired.On the other hand, i am really worried about my grandfather.He had not eat for three days! H e don't want to eat.I am very scared, very scared that one day i won't see him again.Before when i was in my grandmother's house ,i sometimes felt that he iis very annoying but now i regret that i think like that at that time.Eventhough they don't believe in Jesus but i still wish Jesus Christ will help him.I don't really want him to leave us.

Apart from that,these few days,i was very hot-tempered. I don't know what wrong with me i think maybe something really annoy or bothering me these few days.I don't wanna think about it but i can't.I don't know this matter will keep bothering me for how long but i wish it won't be my whole life.

I also sometimes feel lonely especially when i was on the street eventhough my family are with me, i still feel lonely.Even my parents,friends also don't understand. I just felt that something is missing in my life and i don't know what is it but i hope i will figure it out oneday.i really hope so...........really hope so!!

20 March 2009

Today i had a pleasant morning eventhough it is not a really meaningful morning but at least i spend it happily with my parents.I am a bit worried about what will happen on March 28(i can't quite remember the actual date).My parents said on that day i don't it is the whole world or just only Malaysia, we have to turn off all the electricity power for one hour because of the global warming. On that night, all lights will be switched off, my parents said that is a good timing for people to do crimes. I am very scared about what will soon happen on that day.Hope nothing much will happen.So i suggest about having barbecue outside with my family but my mum said she will think about it.Hope she will agree cause if we are all together i think we will be more safe including all my other relatives that live near. I really hope no serious crimes will happen during that one hour......really really hope so! >=<

18 March 2009

Today is almost the last day of my school holiday.I can really said that spending holiday here is the most boring moment of my life.I does nothing real meaningful in this holiday.Today is already Friday but i have not yet finish my school project.:( I woke up really late today, i think around 10 because i slept reallylate yesterday thinking of the message my friends sent me. I and all my friends are in the same school but some are different class. I really hope i could get good result in this year exam because i really want to change school.In this school, my friends are using me to help them do homework,writing essays and many others.I don't like the feeling of getting use by other.In my school, i can't find a real friend, not even one at all.:'( I really miss the time in Nigeria.Although i have to leave my hometown but i still wish to go back.At least over there,i know what i want,and i know what all the hardworks i did are meant for.But over here i am not willing to go school. Because i don't want to try that feeling again. Now thanks to my best friend Michelle giving me all the encouragement, I won't give up easily.:D

13 march 2009

I think today is the worst day of my life cause everything happen in a sudden.I fell into the drain in school,receive the worst email that i never expected and gotten blame in a situation that is not even my fault. I don't know why i was so unlucky today.Felling into a drain was just a small case but the email i received was the real problem.i never expected to receive it. When i just saw the sender name i was totally real surprised because i never expect that this person will send me a message.So when i open and began to read.... I stopped reading when i finished the first sentences,then i don't bother about the rest and i deleted it. I regreted reading it.Maybe we were no more friend....maybe.